“Hello!” & “Thank you!”
- Universally understood phrases that shows acknowledgment and appreciation; phrases underestimated in their ability to bring a smile to another’s face; phrases that can incite a positive reaction as well as any word or phrase.
(courtesy of Esquire magazine)
The star of TBS’s My Boys tells us a good one about an unconventional method of contraception.
A man’s talking to his friend and he says, “I’m about to go on vacation, and I don’t know what to do.” His buddy asks, “Why?” And the man says, “Well, last year’s vacation was Hawaii. Came back, and the wife was pregnant. The year before that was the Bahamas. Came back, the wife was pregnant. The year before that, Paris. Came back, wife pregnant. His buddy asks, “So what are you going to do differently this year?” And the guy says, “Well, this year I’m going to bring the wife.”
http://www.esquire.com/women/funny-joke-from-a-beautiful-woman/jordana-spiro-0708
“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth…”
- Muhammad Ali
This is Little Hill’s drink of choice in Jamaica. 5 year old Jamaican rum mixed with Grapefruit soda.
Exotic without being pretentious.
“Zabi-Nabi rounce…” – Translation: I just want to be paid to think…
- Meister speaking in his MakeMake (3rd largest known dwarf planet) tongue
(courtesy of Cosmopolitan magazine)
EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
You lie down on the bed or floor on your stomach, with your legs straight and slightly apart. Your guy sits right behind your buns with his legs in front of him and his hands on either side of his body for support. He leans back at a 45-degree angle to your body so he can join his genitals with yours. As he rocks forward and back, bring your legs together for a tight fit. Rest on your elbows with your arms in front of you for leverage.
WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
If your guy likes taking charge in bed, this position will let him be your passion pilot. He can glide back and forth as fast or sensually slow as he desires down the runway of your thighs. And since you’re restricted from thrusting and grinding, you get to relax and completely relinquish control — allowing you to concentrate entirely on your pleasure. Plus, you get to enjoy the überhot element of surprise since you can’t see which naughty nooky move he’s planning to do next.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/sex_position_electric_slide_sex
“My better is better than your better…”
- Marketers at Sparq
(courtesy of Forbes magazine)
Co-chair, Disney Media Networks; President, Disney-ABC Television Group
Helping fuel ABC’s comeback with Lost and Desperate Housewives, Sweeney, 47, is a master at turnarounds. After arriving at Disney in 1996, she saved a withering Disney Channel by bringing in scores of subscribers. Sweeney also presided over the launches of two new channels, Toon Disney and SOAPnet, and had successful careers at Nickelodeon and FX, where she oversaw the largest basic-cable launch in history. Something to look forward to in 2006: ABC’s broadcast of the highest-rated and largest revenue-generating television event, the NFL Super Bowl.—S.H.
“Just Do It”
- The Marketers at Nike
(courtesy of Esquire magazine)
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and shouts, “What are you doing?!”
The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”
http://www.esquire.com/women/funny-joke-from-a-beautiful-woman/olivia-munn-0508
“Most dreams die a slow death. They’re conceived in a moment of passion with a prospect of endless possibility, but often languish and are not pursued with the same heartfelt intensity as when first born.”
- Dean Karnazes
1.5 ounces Godiva Liqueur
4 ounces of cola
1 scoop of vanilla ice cream
Pour Godiva Liqueur into tall glass. Add cola. Stir. Top with ice cream…Sip like a queen.
“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the person who’ll decide where to go.”
- Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr. Seuss
“Has anything you’ve done made your life better?”
- Avery Brooks as Dr. Bob Sweeney in American History X
I’m good on the Blackberry. I know everyone in the biz has one and it does all these useful things like show your exact location on the planet (Google Earth). But I’m tired of my emails and text messages following me around the world. It’s time for some new sh*t.
So, I propose that Blackberry and George Lucas get together to offer the Blackberry R2D2 edition. I’d rather walk around with a mini-R2D2 following me around than have a Blackberry clipped on to me.
Think about it, not only could he take my calls, write my emails, and keep my schedule in order. If I ever run into any Sith lords he can have my back.
“…that some should be rich shows that others may become rich and hence is just encouragement…”
- Abraham Lincoln
(courtesy of Forbes magazine)
“…when everybody looks right, you go left…”
- Bruce Willis as Goodcat in Lucky Number Slevin
(courtesy of Esquire magazine)
Three Italian nuns go to heaven, and God says, “You’ve been so amazing, I’m going to send you back as anyone you want.” Nun No. 1 says, “I want to go back as Brigitte Bardot.” God says, “Granted,” and sends her back to earth. Nun No. 2 says, “I want to go back as Gina Lollobrigida.” And God says, “Have a great time,” and sends her back down. The third nun says, “I want to go back as Sahara Pip-a-leeni!” And God says, “Who’s that?” And she pulls out a newspaper that reads, “Sahara Pipeline Laid by 230 Men.”
About the jokester: If Lena Headey isn’t the First Lady of comic-book-reading sci-fi dweebs, she will be soon. The British actress recently portrayed Queen Gorgo in the superbloody adaptation of Frank Miller’s 300, and she currently stars as the title character on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the Fox series that picks up after the events of Terminator 2, a film Headey admits to having only recently seen. Even if she wasn’t aware of the amount of machine ass she’d have to kick, she was physically well suited for the job, thanks to her boxing training. “Where I used to spar, there was this terrifying Russian female boxer named Angel. She was like Dolph Lundgren. Being an actress, I’d scream, ‘Not in the face!’” Fortunately for all, the request was obliged.
http://www.esquire.com/women/funny-joke-from-a-beautiful-woman/lena-headey-0208
Come before 1030 & it’s free…Come after 1030, mention Little Hill & get a free gift!
Little Hill Party
Gift- Having the intelligence to see what is going on around you…
Curse- Having the intelligence to see what is going on around you…
(courtesy of Cosmopolitan magazine)
EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Stand on the edge of a couch, bed, or two chairs, with your legs spread wide. Position your man so he’s standing on the floor facing you. Adjust the width of your stance (bending your knees slightly if necessary) so he can easily slide between them and get your pelvises to meet — then rock your bodies together to feel the bliss.
WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
There’s nothing like the feeling of impulsive, must-have-it-right-now sex while standing up. But the Sofa Spread-Eagle spares you both the royal pain of matching up your private parts. While your stable stance allows you to move to his rhythm, your wide-spread legs give you that supersexy vulnerable feeling. All that frontal friction will hit your hot spot and take you to a no-hands-necessary climax.
Because you are both standing, nothing should hold you back! Get in some hands-on action — whether you’re stroking the back of his neck or tickling his testicles, he’ll love the attention. Ensure you’re satisfied by guiding his lips to your breasts and placing his fingers where you want them.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/sex_position_sofa_spread_eagle_sex
“Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem…”
- Lauryn Hill
The “best” answer to the question posed last week…
“You give the keys to your best friend to take the dying old lady to the hospital while you stay back with the person of your dreams…”
Stunt and save the environment at the same time 
“People often ask me if I know the secret to success. If I was to answer on how to make your dreams come true, I would say you do it by working…”
- Walt Disney
“When it comes to emotions, even great heroes are idiots…”
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
(courtesy of Forbes Magazine)
Mexico’s richest woman is no longer its most eligible. Last year she married Antonio Garza, the U.S. ambassador to Mexico, in a star-studded ceremony in Valle de Bravo, Mexico. This January she cashed out almost half of her stake in fellow billionaire Emilio Azcarraga Jean’s Grupo Televisa, amid reports that she was unhappy with the media company’s management. She also has a stake in Grupo Modelo, Mexico’s largest brewer, which her grandfather, a Spanish immigrant, founded in 1922.
“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”
- William Feather
By Vivianne Rodrigues
NEW YORK (Reuters) – A day after New York City came up with a $1,000 bagel, a local restaurateur unveiled a $25,000 chocolate sundae on Wednesday, setting a Guinness world record for the most expensive dessert.
Stephen Bruce, owner of Serendipity 3, partnered with luxury jeweler Euphoria New York to create the “Frrozen Haute Chocolate,” a blend of 28 cocoas, including 14 of the most expensive and exotic from around the globe.
The dessert, spelled with two Rs, is infused with 5 grams (0.2 ounces) of edible 23-karat gold and served in a goblet lined with edible gold. At the base of the goblet is an 18-karat gold bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds.
The sundae is topped with whipped cream covered with more gold and a side of La Madeline au Truffle from Knipschildt Chocolatier, which sells for $2,600 a pound.
It is eaten with a gold spoon decorated with white and chocolate-colored diamonds, which can also be taken home.
“It took us a long time to experiment with all the ingredients and flavors, and more than three months were needed just to design the golden spoon,” Bruce told Reuters.
Four years ago, Bruce unveiled a $1,000 ice cream sundae called Golden Opulence, a staple on his menu and a favorite with rock stars, socialites and other celebrities.
Both desserts are sold only with advance orders. Bruce said he has received inquiries about his latest creation, mostly from Europeans planning to visit New York.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if soon we get a call from a Middle Eastern prince or Shah willing to give something sweet to his many wives on his next trip to the city,” Bruce said.
On Tuesday, New York chef Frank Tujague of The Westin New York hotel at Times Square unveiled the $1,000 bagel, topped with white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. Sales will help raise funds for culinary school scholarships.
http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN0753679220071107?sp=true
You are driving a car in a hurricane and come to a bus stop. At the stop, there is a dying old lady, your best friend who saved your life, and the guy/girl of your dreams. You have room for one. Who do you take?
- Leave your answer in the comments. The “best” answer forthcoming after the weekend…
“Dreaming is a form of planning…”
- Gloria Steinem
(courtesy of Esquire Magazine)
After a long night out at the bar, a man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. Thinking he might just need some fresh air, he crawled outside. But when he tried to stand again and fell face-first into the mud, he decided to crawl home. The next morning, his wife found him asleep on the doorstep.
“You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said.
“How did you know?” he replied.
“You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”
http://www.esquire.com/women/funny-joke-from-a-beautiful-woman/funnyjoke1107
D’Angelo – “How Does it Feel”
“Joy is a way of life…learning is the highest aim…love is the ultimate goal…”
- Robin Williams as Patch Adams in Patch Adams
Why isn’t there an emcee representing for the surfers worldwide.
They have plenty of topics to throw around: who has the most expensive board, who surfs the best waves, who rides with the illest crew, who has the freshest wet suit.
It’s the next big thing. Trust us.
“Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly…”
- Thomas Jefferson
(courtesy of Forbes Magazine)
“I am scared of what I won’t become; you are scared of what I will become…”
- Michael Jordan
(courtesy of Cosmopolitan Magazine)
EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Tell your partner to lie back, propping up his head and shoulders with a pillow, and have him spread his legs slightly. While you’re facing the same direction — your back is to his face — lower yourself onto his hardened penis. Put your feet between his legs on the floor or the bed. Take your right hand and place it on his right hip bone and your left hand on the bed next to his left hip bone. Use your hands and feet to move your body up and down on his shaft.
WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
The movement of your seat is the key to the Love Seat. With both your hands and feet controlling your motion, ride your behind up and down at a pace that feels best. While you’re doing all the work, give your man’s hands a pleasure project and have him massage your butt, back, neck, and other sexy spots he doesn’t always have access to.
Feeling but not seeing your partner lets you experiment with a fantasy or two. Give yourself momentary permission to pretend he’s Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or a total stranger. A Cosmo word of caution: Just be sure you’re calling out the right guy’s name!
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/sex_position_love_seat_sex
“Learn, Improve, Grow…Repeat…”
Makes 16 bars (you don’t have to share them if you don’t want to!)
http://www.cooksrecipes.com/bar/fudgy_macadamia_nut_brownies_recipe.html
“If you say real talk, I probably won’t trust ya…”
- Andre 3000
(courtesy of Esquire Magazine)
Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbles across an old lamp. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought, one man blurts out, “Make the entire ocean into beer!” The genie claps her hands and the entire sea turns into brew. The other man looks disgustedly at the one who made the wish. After a long, tension-filled moment, he says, “Nice going! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”
http://www.esquire.com/women/funny-joke-from-a-beautiful-woman/funnyjoke0907
